The pub was filled with raucus banter and debate this February night in Georgetown. Dems were enraged while repubs were giddy. The chess players had just launched a new match, and were already sparring over politics between moves.
“It was time for a serious house-cleaning,” the republican declared. “I see no downside to any of the Don’s proposals for domestic and foreign affairs. What excites me the most is the idea he has of acquiring Gaza. Audacious in my view. Tantalizing for it’s possibilities.”
The democrat pulled at his vape pen and responded, “He’s lost his mind sir. Those people aren’t pawns for his amusement.”
The republican replied, “Think of the advantages of the use of Gaza as a time-share tourist destination, drawing people from far and wide. Right there in the birthplace of all the great religions I can see theme parks, golf courses, and five-star resorts. Along with jobs for all who need a job. The Palestinians really blew it by electing and supporting their current failed and murderous regime. They attacked, they lost, and now must pay the piper.”
“That’s a rather dry and sterile-like view, my friend,” the democrat offered. “What of all the suffering of the innocents? What of the monstrous and disproportionate death and destruction? Those Jews in Israel are out of line. Why did they have to destroy the place?”
“We both know why, my friend,” the republican said. “The opposing sides are incompatible in too many ways for there to ever be peace between them. The Palestinians must be absorbed by the more stable countries bordering Israel. They need to give up their pipe dream of having their own state. They had their chances and blew it. A civilized and reliable neighbor doesn’t commit the evil that was Oct 7. It just is what it is. We’ll let history sort through the nuances of the issue.”
After a long and drawn out pull on his vape pen, the democrat opined, “The goal is peace on earth. It’s really that simple. Something to work toward, to strive for, to sacrifice for. Here in America we’ve fairly perfected the art of a workable and secure nation-state-empire. Contrast that with the madness in the middle east. God help us if we descend to that place of hell they live in. Perhaps the sides do need to be separated. There will be initial suffering and grumbling, but over time the merits of that solution will be clear. A sad affair any way you look at it.”
The republican lit his stogie and puffed a smoke ring into the air. “There could be a park alongside the seashore where a memorial would honor those who’d died and those who’d been re-located in the affair we could call ‘The Great Mistake’, the companion to the ‘Nakba’ event that basically birthed this mess we’re in. It’s time to re-order things with the long view of peace in mind. The Jews are there to stay and will always defend that position. In my view, they need to systematically neutralize the extremists that surround them.”
“Similar to what the Don is doing in the halls of DC power,” the democrat mused. “Rooting out the corruption and waste that we all know exists in our government. We were both bureaucrats by trade. We know the bullshit and waste and lived it for decades. You do see that me and my democrat kin are in a state of shock of late. Every day there’s a new Don n’ Elon induced atrocity revealed in the headlines. I’ve already exhausted my supply of superlative scotch, and found that my Canadian connection appeared cool towards me the other day. What’s with your guy and his need to flex his muscles with insults and tariffs?”
The republican asserted, “We sometimes forget that leaders of men and civilizations tend to cast their thoughts far into the future, as well as addressing more immediate concerns of the people. That is his job. The Don is a maverick, a force of nature, perhaps a gift from God for the purpose of waking us up from our malaise. History teaches us that one day our civilization will fade and be replaced by something different. All we can hope to do is to prolong these days of milk and honey obliviousness. The wretched souls impacted by the Gaza affair are testimony as to what human failure looks like. We want to avoid that!”
“I confess that certain aspects of the middle east mess trouble me,” the democrat stated. “Have you noticed that the Hamas enforcers always wear masks and AKs and crisp and clean military uniforms. What cowards! Much like what I see in demonstrations I see here in America. Why the masks? Hamas claims a mandate from Allah to resist the Zionists. Yet they’re always seen masking their faces. Then they hide amongst the innocent and simple folk they claim to care about. The antifa thugs who were the prime instigators of the riot here on Jan 6 follow the same playbook of masked cowardess and sloppy rhetoric.”
Between puffs the republican replied, “Evil, my friend. Simple evil.”
The democrat replied, “Simple? So how do we fight evil?”
“You nip it in the bud and kill the mature manifestations of evil. For thousands of years the wise ones have tried to school us, but also warned us that as long as men walk this planet, evil is delighted to ride shotgun in the affairs of man. Shall we finish this match and chew on these thoughts over a black and tan, my friend?”
“Excellent idea sir! Note my checkmate of your players and I’ll summon the waiter.”
CP Butchvarov 2025