The bistro was quiet this early evening-there were just enough active tables of diners and drinkers to keep the staff busy. Just a normal low-stress shift at the bistro this frigid January evening in Woodbury. At an oval table tucked away in the rear of the room sat four gals who seemed to be enjoying themselves and were engaged in lively storytelling and laughter.
“We’re so lucky that our portfolios are thriving,” Lily Beth, the youngest and prettiest girl of the four declared. “We paid off the mortgage on our ski retreat in Big Sky early. Seems like the sky’s the limit when it comes to making money these days. It feels like The Don is looking out for us, but I wish he would tone down his rhetoric just a bit.”
Her best friend Jeanne Nicole replied, “We paid for our new pool with our asset gains since The Don returned. Hubby and me didn’t vote for him, but sure are enjoying our financial windfall, so we’re all in now. It’s really a shame that things are so polarized in this country. And of course we deserve Greenland and always have. That’s what I think. We’re on a roll these days toward greatness. so why can’t everybody just chill and enjoy their portfolios?”
Scarlet Rose laughed and said “My ball and chain has been neglecting my emotional needs ever since The Don was re-elected. He’s glued to his computer late at night watching our portfolio grow. He’s gained alot of weight too. He buys me jewelry but ignores me when I call out for him in the night. I suspect he has a porn habit. I’ve been thinking divorce, especially now that our assets are formidably robust. I need to be touched. What I really want is love. Ah…when I was free.”
“Same here,” Rita Anne, the eldest of the bunch stated. “My guy bought me a Tesla with our gains, but falls short in the lover’s arts, and has been like that since his portfolio matured. Thank god for women’s soft-core on the internet. I’m pretty sure I’ll toss my vows and break our contract any day now. The stress is making me crazy!”
Lily Beth laughed and declared “I was smart enough early on to set up our portfolio so that I was in control of it. My lawyer advised me that enlightened self-interest dictated that I never allow myself to fully trust anyone, even my spouse. But the ways of love are what they are I suppose. If we make it to old-age together then that’s well and good. But my cautious approach helps me sleep better at night.”
“Good for you” Rita Anne said smiling. “Making money seems alot like having a drinking problem. You get the high and then you want more, then fall to gloom when the toothpick castle of the market tanks. I’ve been tucking portfolio proceeds away in a secret account for years. My dude hasn’t a clue, and I wonder if he ever has. He’s acceptable for the most part as a mate, but sometimes seems like a little boy who just wants his way, no matter what. He was swooning the other day when our portfolio showed exceptional performance, and declared, ‘Thank god for our portfolio, I plan to purchase a new mule this week.’ “
“Mule? Damn! You’ve got to be kidding! I thought he was a gentleman farmer!” Scarlet Rose erupted.
Rita Anne laughed and responded, “A mule in our neck of the woods is an all terrain vehicle the boys use in the back forty for fun and adventure, and sometimes for yardwork. The one he wants is thirty grand, so I put my foot down and told him I’d divorce him if he dared. He’d just blown 60 grand on the Tesla! He whined a bit but hasn’t mentioned it again. Sometimes he’s like a stoned teenager doing 90 on a bike. I love him and really appreciate his contribution to our portfolio though. I keep a short leash on our financial health so I don’t get screwed if we part ways. As I get older I dream that again I will be free and childlike someday, like when I was a girl.”
Just then the server man arrived with deserts and liqueurs. “The maidens are having a good time I see. Shall we indulge sweets and sample this portfolio of spirits?”
CP Butchvarov 2026