The Analysts Convention


The run up to the 2024 election was shaping up to be a historic and memorable spectacle, amplified by the insidious influences of social media and mass media algorithms holding court over the minds of the voters.  Just a few weeks before the polls opened an important convention of Freudian and Jungian analysts was held in Jackson Hole, Wyoming.  The symbolic vista of the Grande Tetones was the perfect backdrop for this meeting of superbly educated physicians of the mind.  The first day’s schedule was devoted to discussions of the effects of democracy on the mental health of citizen patients, and observations made by the practitioners of psychotherapy in attendance.

The analyst from Palm Beach asserted, “I’ve never seen my patients so unhappy.  So many of them are convinced that the end of democracy is near, and they’ve been asking me to write scrips for antidepressants and sleep aids. It’s no longer marriage woes and self-image dissatisfaction that ails them.  It’s fear of the failure of our democracy.”

“My practice is swamped,” the analyst from Denver said, “and likewise the need for drug augmentation has surprised me.  My patients are typically fairly indifferent to national politics, but the dual threat of the return of the Don, and the questionable competence of the opposition team, seems to have caused a universal dread to permeate their psyches.  I can’t argue or take issue though with the income flow I’ve received from these conditions.”

An analyst from the Aspen area concurred.  “My associates in pharmaceuticals tell me that business has never been better.  The demand for prozac and zoloft is off the charts, along with some of the more obscure psychotropics.  Even haldol is having a comeback.  To think that one man, one mind, can have such an effect on the masses astounds.  Just the other day I observed citizens performing the haldol shuffle at the whole foods in my neighborhood.  It’s unprecedented!”

The moderator, an analyst from St Paul asserted “There seems to be hoarding going on with regards to the more effective drugs.  One of my long-term patients confessed that she’d been stockpiling her favorites so that if democracy fails she can die in her sleep, peacefully, without hearing another word from the Don.  She assured me though that she’d warn me beforehand so I can fill her twice-weekly slot in my schedule with a new patient.”

An analyst from Minneapolis, which is known as the sister city to St Paul, stated “I’ve seen the same trend.  It exceeds the drug use I was seeing after the Floyd incident in our city.  One of my patients suggested to me that she thought there could be a huge market for a ‘die in your sleep pill’, which would have a market focus of depressed progressives.  I chastised her quite gently, yet found myself seeing in the idea flickers of the sensible.  Still,  my income stream is paramount to me, given my standard of living.”

“She sounds like a maga aficionado,” the moderator opined.  “I would think that would be an anomaly in your neck of the woods.”

The analyst from Minneapolis responded, “She’s a homemaker with seven kids, and her husband is a plumber with anger-management issues.  He’s the liberal and she’s the conservative.  I don’t pick sides in their struggle.  I listen and write scrips and deposit their checks without judgment.”     

The analyst from Pasadena spoke next.  “We hear the phrase ‘mind virus’ alot, even from highly educated luminaries like our rocket builder friend.  Perhaps there’s truth there that we’re overlooking.  There is no such category in the Mental Health Handbook we all subscribe to and rely on for our livelihoods and self-esteem.  My understanding is that the topic for tomorrow’s seminar is titled “Mass Hysteria or Mind Virus?  Which is it?”

The moderator replied, “Indeed Doctor!  The sessions should be illuminating for us all.  Shall we now retire and dine on prime steer tips, escargot, and creme brulee?”

CP Butchvarov  2024